Posts Tagged ‘progression’


He will suffer no more.

April 13, 2009

At 8:18PM EST, Norman William Gose succumbed to the cancer he was diagnosed with exactly four months prior.

Once the death rattle calmed down, dad’s breathing began to decline heavily. It went from labored, quick breathing to very slow, exhausted gasps for air. The period just before his final breath, anywhere between four and six seconds would elapse between each inhale.

After about 15 minutes he breathed in two more times, and exhaled one last time.

He will suffer no more.
And he will be missed.


This might be it

April 12, 2009

Within the last hour, Bill’s breathing has deteriorated a considerable amount. His blood pressure no longer registers on our home vitals device. At last accurate measurement, it was about 110 over 60 with a heart rate of 119 beats per minute.

His breathing is raspy from the mucus buildup in his throat, very fast, and labored. He has been unresponsive for several hours with minimal movement in his left arm, which is the only thing that still moves freely.

Other websites have described a “death rattle” associated with the sounds deep from the patient’s chest which occur during the last few hours. Pat and Jimmy agree that this is probably what we’re hearing.

Time will tell.


Close call

April 4, 2009

This morning Bill emerged from a nearly two-day sleep which alarmed a number of us as a minor coma. He didn’t drink any water or have anything to eat the entire time, only waking long enough to empty his bladder. He has been progressively sleeping more in the past couple of weeks, but this was a 47-hour record for him sleeping.

He has lost close to all control on the right side of his body. His right arm and hand are locked into a relatively useless position, his arm getting smaller from what I think is atrophy. Since the tumor is behind his left eye it makes sense that his right side has just about ceased to work. We’re pretty sure he is unable to effectively use his left eye, as well.

He is eating and drinking fluids again, though not eating as much as he should be.


Final visit to the oncologist

February 27, 2009

Today marked the final visit to the oncologist, short of a specific need coming up in the future. The swollen right leg and foot was addressed and the doctor thinks there could possibly be a clot in there, but can’t be certain. Bill more or less declined further action or investigation, a sign that he’s becoming less willing to fight through anything. The other bit of advice offered by the doctor was to set up hospice now rather than later when things became more complicated. Bill wasn’t very thrilled by the notion, but he was more receptive when told it would be just as much for Pat as it was for him.

Bill’s interest in food is diminishing at an alarming rate. Coupled with increasing desire for sleep, we’re fairly certain the cancer is progressing but none of us knows how quickly or how badly.

A Social Security visit is in the works for tomorrow so that disability can be set up appropriately. The office works a tad more swiftly when you inform them it’s in response to a terminal illness. Pat didn’t know there was a Social Security office in Kissimmee – neither did I.

Bill’s ability to walk on his own seems to be quickly fading. This evening Pat followed him to the bathroom, witnessing his legs getting shaky and his balance crumbling. She did her best to hold him steady and keep him upright. Shortly after it seemed to have subsided, Bill took a step forward and fell down. Pat was unable to stop it despite her attempts to do so. He sprained his wrist and scraped his knee mildly from the fall. He wasn’t able to get back up again, so Pat suggested he scoot along the floor until he reached the bed where he could lift himself into it. That was exceptionally tiring for him.

Pat’s new policy for Bill is in effect: if he’s tired and needs to go to the bathroom or to the bedroom, he’s going in the wheelchair.


A new development

February 22, 2009

Pat noticed that Bill’s right leg is starting to swell. From about the knee down to his foot, as best she can see. An upcoming doctor’s visit might yield more information about it but for right now it’s too new to tell for sure.


A few good days

February 14, 2009

Bill was lucky enough to enjoy a number of good days. Outside of his now normal drowsiness and lack of overall focus, he kept it together enough to help Pat participate in the annual Great Backyard Bird Count. It’s a tradition at the Gose household and even now they wouldn’t go without doing their part. Good weather was abundant during the bird watching on the 13th.

On the 14th, Bill slept for nearly 11 hours but felt pretty good by the time he woke up. The hours in which he dedicates to sleep are slowly increasing. He was a little shaky moving in and out of Pat’s car on their way for food in the afternoon, but it passed and he was moving on his own again. Given the circumstances, this Valentine’s Day turned out to be pretty enjoyable, feasting upon the goods offered up by Smokey Bones.


Getting worse

January 29, 2009

This evening Bill was uncharacteristically tired. He sat in his recliner and slept more than normal, ignoring much of the recorded television show playing before him.

As the evening hours passed, Bill would occasionally rub his forehead with his eyes closed. He told Pat that his eyes are really bothering him, shaking his head from time to time in response to their changing condition. He said that it was not from a headache.

He had been trying to stay up later this evening. While he didn’t indicate his exact reason, we suspect it might be because I told mom I wanted to talk to him on the phone. There are things I want to say to him while I still have the chance. With work lasting as long as it has lately, getting home at a decent hour to make that phone call has been nearly impossible.

In order to use the bathroom, he had to be taken in a wheelchair. Once he made his way back to the living room and into his recliner Pat sat in his wheelchair to be at the same level. Pat spent the majority of the night sitting by him, holding his hand. It was not long until he was ready to make his way to bed.

We’re wondering if maybe this is the beginning of the end. I really hope not.